Governor Polis’ office has blessed Colorado with another self-congratulatory press release, this one titled “Building A Healthy Colorado For All,” because apparently the state’s big emergency is that you peasants have been eating wrong without enough executive-branch encouragement.
Nothing says “healthy Colorado” like a government announcement explaining that the people who helped make daily life more expensive are now very concerned about what’s in your shopping cart. Fantastic. The rent’s on fire, groceries feel like a hostage negotiation, and here comes the Capitol wellness squad with a clipboard and a kale halo.
The actual trigger here is simple: Polis “takes action” to encourage healthy eating and improve health. That is press-release language so soft you could spread it on toast. “Takes action” can mean anything in government-world: a program, a proclamation, a partnership, a sternly worded vibe, or six bureaucrats standing near a vegetable pretending civilization has been saved.
And that’s the tell. When politicians say they’re “encouraging” something, check your wallet. Maybe it’s harmless. Maybe it’s another taxpayer-funded awareness carousel. Maybe it’s the opening act before fees, rules, grants, consultants, equity dashboards, and some nonprofit with twelve directors of “food systems transformation” discovers a new way to invoice the public for common sense.
Nobody is against healthy eating. That’s the scam. They always pick the thing no normal person opposes, wrap it in kindergarten morality, and dare you to object. Clean air. Healthy food. Safe communities. Affordable housing. Then the machine shows up, turns the slogan into policy sludge, and somehow the average Coloradan ends up poorer, more regulated, and lectured by someone who thinks grocery shopping is a theory.
This is the ruling-class cardio routine: create a crisis of affordability, then announce a compassionate initiative to help people survive the affordability crisis you helped build. Break the chair, sell a posture seminar. Flood the kitchen, launch a mop equity task force. Make Colorado harder to live in, then hold a press conference about wellness.
And the tone is always the same: benevolent adults guiding the messy public toward better choices. As if working families needed permission from Denver to know vegetables are good. As if the problem is ignorance, not the brutal math of living in a state where every damn thing costs more and every solution seems to come with a program manager.
That’s the arrogance underneath the smoothie. Government doesn’t just want to run roads, schools, permitting, taxes, energy, water, and public safety badly enough to make everyone miserable. Now it wants moral credit for reminding you to eat better while you’re trying to figure out whether the grocery total or the utility bill gets to ruin your week first.
Colorado doesn’t need another glossy “healthy for all” sermon from the same political ecosystem that treats normal people like movable revenue units with bad habits. People in Pueblo, Sterling, Grand Junction, Aurora, and Colorado Springs don’t need a statehouse pep talk about nutrition. They need a government that stops making life heavier and then congratulating itself for noticing everyone looks tired.
So eat your greens if you want. Take a walk. Drink water. Do pushups. But don’t confuse a politician’s wellness press release with leadership. In Colorado, “healthy for all” too often means the ruling class gets the halo, the consultants get the check, and you get the bill with a side of steamed bullshit.
Source: Office of Governor Jared Polis
Just Stop It
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